Toffee

“Aren't you on the pill? You should take the after pill then, just to be safe.” I will not. And I will not get an abortion either. Most of my lovers didn't like condoms but they were genuinely scared when I told them that I hadn't “solved it” for them in advance by taking contraceptive pills and I was not going to “solve it” for them later either – by the after pill or abortion. On the other hand, I made also very clear to them that I wouldn't expect them to play the father if they didn't want to except for some financial support (legally, if necessary). And they got scared. Isn't it a paradox? They don't want to use condoms because it is a bit “less pleasant” and a mere threat of having to support a human being that they would create (which would be the only consequence of their incompetency or lack of knowledge of their own bodies) made them scared. So here is where I stand: I am not so-called “pro-life”, in the sense of being against choice. It's j...

Lives of someone like me and of, you know, “the people” rarely cross and saying that I “know them” is about as arrogant as bragging about (well, “checking”) your privilege that you don't understand “their” problems. Up until recently I had been annoyed by many polyamory discourses because I was thinking that people with existential problems don't really have time for this. But then … no, I realized it's not entirely true. Let me explain. Many years ago, I worked with with a woman from a very different social class who at that time had two and a half jobs, a son, a husband with depressions, and a lover. This situation was stable at least for a few years over which I was meeting her regularly at work. Back then, I had been already for some time living my soap opera life: dramatically falling in love, not being happy, meeting someone new, dramatic break-up, and everything over again. Years later I discovered the concept of “open relationship” which seemed to have solved my p...